Getting to know oneself, really, is scary, emotional, exciting, hopeful and I know a beautiful journey. But notice the first adjective I used.
Today, as I was driving, I spoke out loud to myself because I have learned that our subconscious has no defense against our voice. I told “myself” things that I don’t believe for one reason or another, but that I want to be reality in my life. At some level, I actually do believe these truths. I believe them about about others, but not myself. Well, maybe somewhat about myself, but not really – not really and truly. The blueprint in my subconscious keeps that from me.
As I was telling myself truths, I started crying – and I thought, ‘I can’t cry because people at work will see my eyes and ask what’s wrong.’ So I held it back and just let my eyes water a bit. That reaction was caused by my current blueprint. I cried because I felt strong saying these truths, but my subconscious did not feel comfortable with these feelings of strength and hope I felt, so it kicked in and kept me from the truth and in that place of weakness in which it feels more comfortable. It basically ran the show. And it always will – that’s ok – I just have to create a different show in my subconscious.
I felt like I was in a battle, but in a winning position because of the system and alliance I have entrusted with MKM. I knew that my subconscious was holding back my tears in this instance, but I also believed, not for long.
I do not want to view my subconscious as an enemy. I believe my subconscious is an innocent bi-product of my loving up-bring, my not-so-loving school/friend environment, my readings, relationships, experiences…all of these things have created a blueprint of thoughts, feelings and beliefs in my mind. This blueprint – these thoughts, feelings and beliefs – are what cause me to act in a certain way and these actions achieve certain results – these actions are habits.
I am excited to do the work to develop new habits to replace the old. I have learned this is the only way to extinguish an undesirable habit – by imprinting another upon it. It will take hard work and repetition – I am committing to put new, positive thoughts, feelings and beliefs into my subconscious and creating a new blueprint, which will allow me to take different actions and achieve different results – because I want change.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Marianne
Master Key - Marianne 